woke up - silly and in love,
talked some,
then wished for - death from above.
I just feel better, about the world, when I’m in bed next to you.
codependency? infatuation? (In either case, something that feels so great…and, may not turn out that way.)
or, could it be…
Mom always said, “You’ll never win the lottery if you don’t play!”
I suppose a couple potential results of heading that advice, might make someone a compulsive gambler… or, a millionaire…
summer-time and sensation
It’s summer-time…red blossoms are blooming from some fruiting tree…and, there is no such thing as silence. A cheerful songbird whistles a happy hyhm…there’s nothing outside not humming some sort of tune. My mind is a flatline; where elation should most likely be. If there is no silence anywhere else? At least I can clear my head.
I once worked at a movie theater…sweeping up each messy theater after every showing. The thoughts, the white noise, that damn catchy pop song, the everyday banter of the morbid morning news…can be swept away…like all those gummy bears and popcorn kernels. Nature’s abuzz and beauty abounds; surrounding me, in this placid plastic lawn chair. I am numbed as I so chose to be. After a while, I let the outside in; a singular thing at a time. First, a ray of light from the sun; I let it slightly sear my retina. For each sense, in turn, I allow a thing of beauty burn me. Next, my nose: I take in a breath of hot summer air. It’s wonderful, dry, and I relish thing sting as it rushes past the hairs on the inside of my nostril. I do this, each sense in turn, one item at a time…until it’s only pure, unfettered, summer; burning it’s way through all my neural pathways, spanning the entirety of each sense’s perception, leaving me as one embodiment of summer, and ultimately…utterly sublime.
some days. other days.
Some days, I can’t help but feeling like I’m on the precipice of something big; as if I’m on the verge of some great revelation. Other days, I feel like i’m helpless and floating along in a void with no end.
Even though today is a day of precipice…I can’t shake the lurking doubt that the void is the more accurate of the two…because, I’ve yet to reach any substantial revelation.
…and, I did what I vowed never to do.
I lost myself in you.
totally, completely, consumed.
sarcasm is a way of life. realism and cynicism often coincide.
I miss the ardent sincerity of childhood.
set sail
I don’t want anyone else… …i’ve got you. But, not the way I want too… So, I’ll set sail for the river stix. wave goodbye to this world and everything in it, all of which, I can never fix.
not quite Dali’s clocks…more, a never repeating digital marquee, scrolling quickly away from me.
prose slips from my mind. lost, forever. buried. quickly, covered by shifting dunes. another would-be treasure. hidden, by the sands of time.
windblown.
the new word. (apologies for the radio silence…)
I’ve been busy.
see, I was raptured on May 21st.
now, I’m back…to lead you all astray.
I have new word for the masses. new stories, new prose, new verses.
I herald from on high, with an account, of the day of rapture until today.
If I’m sinking don’t save me.
If I’m sinning don’t blame me.
If I’m sighing don’t shush me.
It does not shame me.
shroud me with love. i come back from above.
shower me with gold. truth has costs, i’m told.
shedding old skin. new life is paved with instruction…shall we begin?
and all words shall be marked.
and all verse shall be sung.
and all tales shall be told.
and all knots shall be undone.
this is law. follow, and ye shall be followed.
common threads and theme. hot water begets steam.
we have progressed. let us not digress.
cherish this life. it’s all that’s truly yours.
cling to no strife. hate is the cauldron whence death pours.
this is the word. you have read, thus you have heard.
this prose was for free: a price which will not sustain the truth.
this burden of truth, first-hand account of rapture, weighs heavy on me.
money is a man-made demigod.
let it flow from you free. let it flow, from you to me.
truth will neither fade, nor change. it’s virtues, we shall laud.
(although, as light passes through a prism, distortions may change it’s way.)
I’ve been busy.
all who doubt, be cursed.
truth and light, pour forth, and onward from this day.
…shall we pray?
life’s like a box of chocolates…
life’s a card game… really, it’s all about how one combines two variables, which ultimately determine the outcome: who wins and how much. the two variables: the cards dealt and the cunning with which they’re utilized.
